How to overcome premature ejaculation: Information, tips and help in Berlin & online

Frequently asked question

Premature ejaculation

Premature ejaculation can be frustrating. If you’re climaxing sooner than you and your partner would like, sex may not be satisfying for either of you. One cause of premature ejaculation is anxiety, but also other factors can lead to this sexual dysfunction. Learn more about how hypnotherapy with Hypnobalancing™ can help you.

Overview

• What is premature ejaculation?
• What causes premature ejaculation?
• How can premature ejaculation be treated?
  • Your therapist
  • What does hypnotherapy cost?
  • Therapy duration
  • Appointment booking
  • You are not in Berlin or prefer an alternative to sessions in my practice?
  • Preparing for your first session
  • The first session
• Self-hypnosis
• Just ask me personally 

What is premature ejaculation?

Premature ejaculation can happen in as little as 30 seconds to a minute, and may even occur before penetration. There is no set time when a man should ejaculate during sex. If you’re climaxing sooner than you and your partner would like, sex may not be satisfying for either of you. When you ejaculate, you lose your erection and can’t continue having sex that way. It is not something to worry about if it happens only occasionally. You and your partner may feel there is not enough time to enjoy it, it’s a problem called premature ejaculation.

Premature ejaculation – or in other words, coming too quickly – is one of the most common of all sexual problems. Many men suffer from premature ejaculation. It can be frustrating and even embarrassing. It can hurt your relationship too. You don’t have to live with it. It is more common in younger men – which is not surprising, as there’s a distinct tendency for it to improve with age. Men generally get better control as they grow older.

Premature ejaculation makes people unhappy and frustrated. And in severe cases, premature ejaculation can threaten or even ruin a relationship – simply because it spoils the sex lives of both partners. Sometimes, the condition is so bad that the man cannot even manage to have intercourse because he invariably ejaculates before he even enters the vagina. This can be devastating to a man’s self-confidence. And it can be hugely frustrating and annoying for his partner, too.

What causes premature ejaculation?

One cause of premature ejaculation is anxiety, but other factors can lead to this sexual dysfunction. For many years, sex experts have tended to say that premature ejaculation is caused by early conditioning. In other words, the man’s early, rushed, and perhaps furtive sexual experiences had to be quick to avoid detection!

The theory is that this hectic rush conditions men to climax as quickly as possible. Research shows that this is actually not true. Surveys have revealed that many men with premature ejaculation claim that they did not have rushed, hasty early sexual experiences. Most of them were highly triggered right from the beginning of their sex lives. It’s worth noting that from an evolutionary point of view, it’s probable that throughout human history, males who climaxed quickly were more likely to have children.

The tendency to reach orgasm quickly may actually be an inherited state rather than a learned one. But life has changed and sexuality is nowadays not only about reproduction. Finally, there’s no question that anxiety plays a part in many cases of premature ejaculation. If you’re nervous, you’re likely to come too quickly (or not at all).

Potential emotional factors:

• Anxiety
• Relationship problem
• Guilt
• Pressure to perform
• Stress
• Depression

Premature ejaculation: when is early too early?

What is premature? A second, half a minute, a minute, 10 minutes, or anytime it happens before a woman’s orgasm during intercourse with a partner? Premature is when it is experienced as a massive restriction because it feels beyond personal control.

How long fulfilling sex lasts varies greatly from individual to individual. Not every man suffers when ejaculation occurs in just two minutes or even more quickly. And not every woman immediately perceives a short lovemaking act as unfulfilling sex. Premature ejaculation is when one of the partners regularly desires a significantly longer duration of sexual intercourse and at least one partner suffers from the too-short lovemaking.

Then the symptom affects the quality of life and brings additional disadvantages. Self-esteem and the relationship suffer. The expectation, the fear of repetition, increases the pressure and thus the likelihood of experiencing just that. Anxiety increases over time. Of course, the situation, mood, position, and many other factors affect the duration of intercourse. And time and performance pressures can also have a negative impact on sexual quality of life.

The prevalence of ejaculatio praecox

Premature ejaculation is one of the most common male sexual disorders. The problem occurs regardless of age. While erectile dysfunction is a topic of conversation today, this problem has largely remained under wraps. Although there is therapeutic help for premature ejaculation, comparatively few affected men see a therapist.

Along with erectile dysfunction, ejaculatio praecox is one of the most common male sexual disorders. Around two-fifths of 30- to 70-year-old men are affected by erectile dysfunction (erectile dysfunction), and another two-fifths by premature ejaculation.

Self-help

There are a number of self-help techniques you can try before seeking support. These include:

• Masturbating 1 to 2 hours before sex.
  Using a thick condom to reduce sensation.
  Having sex with your partner in a position where she can withdraw when you are about to ejaculate.
• Taking a deep breath when very aroused briefly shut down the ejaculatory reflex (an automatic reflex of the body where you ejaculate).
• Pause during sex and distract yourself by thinking about something completely different.
• If you are in a long-term relationship, you may benefit from couples therapy.

I encourage you to explore the possibilities playfully that can have a positive impact on your relationship and love life. We may also discuss techniques in sessions that can help you unlearn the habit of premature ejaculation as a pattern.

Common techniques for ejaculation control

The goal of ejaculation control techniques is to teach you how to control your body and your feelings. Among the most common methods are:

a. Start and stop

This technique involves you or your partner stimulating your penis just before orgasm, then stopping the stimulation for about 30 seconds until you regain control of your reaction. Repeat this “start and stop” method three or four times before reaching orgasm yourself. Practice this method until you gain good control.

b. Ejaculation control (squeeze, pressure, or squeeze technique).

With this technique, you or your partner stimulate your penis until just before orgasm and then gently squeeze the glans for about 30 seconds so that you lose your erection. Repeat this technique a few times before you reach orgasm. Practice this technique until you can delay your orgasm in a controlled manner.

c. Distracted thinking

This technique is about focusing your attention on common, non-sexual topics while you are sexually stimulated. Systematic naming is a good way to focus your attention. For example, try to imagine naming all the stores you pass on the way to work, all your favorite movies, or all the streets on the way to visit friends.

d. Pelvic floor exercises

Some people with the condition report that regular pelvic floor training has also proven helpful. The pelvic floor is the muscle that supports the sphincter of the urethra, among other things. Training is dedicated to strengthening the pelvic floor.

Better not: dubious methods.

The Internet is full of dubious tricks, like the think-of-your-worst-fear method. A shady instructor promoted the twist-your-favorite-pet’s-neck method at a meeting of therapists. Even if mental distraction reduces arousal thinking like this is not very appealing. Presumably, such idiosyncratic ideas are more likely to lead to further psychological problems.

How can premature ejaculation be treated?

You don’t have to live with that. Sexual problems such as these are related to the subconscious, and hypnotherapy helps in taking away the layers which hide the real reason and focusing on the pleasure without a steady appraisal.

A trance provides a better base for many therapeutic techniques. Trance is a very natural state. Many approved methods are even more effective when carried out in a trance state because the whole experience then becomes more intense.

Hypnotherapy to treat premature ejaculation

Many proven interventions are intensified through hypnosis. Beneficial mental states can be experienced through hypnosis, and previously unused resources are activated. The more external control is discarded, the more inner confidence is experienced.

Hypnotherapy and Hypnobalancing™ offer ways to improve the quality of life in this area. And easy-to-learn techniques can further expand personal influence.

You focus more on the desired outcome and the pleasure of enjoying each moment than on the problem, and limiting beliefs are dissolved through a pleasant experience. Even a change in focus often improves the situation very quickly.

Please remember to clarify physical causes by visiting a doctor and also note the information on contraindications for hypnotherapy before booking an appointment.

Physical causes

Anxiety, stress, or depression can cause premature ejaculation. However, since physical causes can also cause premature ejaculation, please check with a medical professional.

Your doctor will probably also ask you about other medical conditions and medications, including over-the-counter medications, dietary supplements, and herbal products you are taking. He or she will probably also ask you about your use of alcohol and illegal drugs. This is important. If physical causes have been largely ruled out, a therapeutic appointment with me is a good idea.

Potential questions in the first session

You will probably be asked:

• How long have you been experiencing this problem?
• Under what circumstances does it occur?
• How often does it occur?
• Does premature ejaculation occur every time you have sex?
• Does it occur with all partners?
• Does premature ejaculation occur when you masturbate?
• Do you have difficulty maintaining an erection?

While the questions are very personal, it is important that you answer them honestly so that it becomes clearer what underlying circumstances may be involved.

How many sessions?

Humans are individuals. Treatment of ejaculatio praecox usually requires only a few sessions. I see most clients with that issue for 3 sessions up to 5 sessions.

How to decide to ask for help?

Are you thinking about whether you need professional help to recover? You may feel that you should be able to handle things on your own, or that talking to someone means you are not a strong person. You might be worried that talking about your issue during treatment could make your symptoms worse. It is important to get all those obstacles out of the way.

When asking for help

It is good to know that it is important to help yourself. It’s also important to know when you need to reach out for some help. Therapy can be a good opportunity to learn both aspects of emotional strength, autonomy, and reliance on those you trust.

An experienced therapist will let you choose the pace of your therapy and won't force you to discuss things you're not ready for. Emotional strength involves learning on your own and knowing how and when support is helpful.

How do the symptoms influence your life?

One of the best ways to figure out if assistance is good for you is to consider how much the symptoms you are experiencing interfere with your daily life. Do you have limitations in your personal life, or at work? Are you able to focus? Is it easy for you to build and maintain fulfilling relationships with people? Do you enjoy your life? Is there a feeling in you that your life could be more fulfilling?

Who can assist you?

Are you considering getting my assistance? The easiest way for you to find out is if you know someone I've been able to help. Then you will know firsthand what to expect. If that is not the case, you will find on this website some information that will make it easier for you to get an impression of me. Trust is important, and that's why I aim for transparency.

Your therapist

For about two decades, I am specialized in the field of fears and anxiety disorders. I spend about 20 hours a week helping people to free themselves from their limitations and thereby gain a better quality of life. If you want to know how it all started and what you should know about me, please read my profile. And yes, therapy is a very personal matter: Because it is a very intensive collaboration, I reveal some details about myself. So you can get a first impression of me. Trust is important and that is why I focus on transparency.

The sessions are conducted either in German or English.

What does hypnotherapy cost?

Here are some organizational details. Please read them before the appointment reservation. People often ask, "How much does hypnotherapy cost?" What is meant by this are the presumed total costs, which result from the fee and the duration of the psychotherapy with hypnotherapy.

Fee for psychotherapy

The fee per session hour of psychotherapy (60 minutes) for appointments from Monday to Thursday from 10:00 to 18:00:

• A. Sessions by telephone or online with video support 179,- Euro
• B. Sessions in my premises 199,- Euro.
• C. For options A. and B. plus short-term appointment changes* once up to 24 hours before, add to the hourly fee 35, - Euro.

The fees for psychotherapy are exempt from VAT according to § 4 No. 14 a) UStG.

The first session usually lasts 90 minutes. Outside the mentioned business hours (Monday and Tuesday from 10:00 a.m. until 6:00 p.m.) I add a 35 % surcharge. The minimum duration of a session is 60 minutes, billing beyond that in 30-minute units. The minimum duration of a session is 60 minutes, billing beyond that in 30-minute units.

The fees do not include travel, accommodation, and allowance costs, which will be charged to the client. For traveling on my behalf: The costs for the journey will be charged according to time and effort. Within Berlin, at least an hourly fee is charged. Relevant is the individual agreement.

Postponement of meetings: For hourly fees A. and B. sessions that last up to 120 minutes can be once rescheduled up to 72 hours in advance (only weekdays count Monday till Friday, no holidays), longer sessions, or more than 120 minutes within 7 days at least 14 days in advance. Otherwise, they will be charged in full.

You can't come to my practice? Switch to a session with video or use your telephone.

Method of payment: The fee must always be paid in full by bank transfer 7 days before the session. I will send you details by mail so that you are well-informed.

Right of rescission: If registration by consumers for an event is made by telephone, letter, e-mail, or online form, the provisions of the Distance Selling Act shall apply. If the intended start of the event at the time of registration is within the withdrawal period according to the Fernabsatzgesetz (Distance Selling Act), the registration is considered a request to start the service within the withdrawal period. You have the right to revoke a service order/date without giving reasons. This is possible within 14 days of the order by telephone and in writing.

Cost coverage by health insurance companies and other insurers

Usually, the fee is not paid by national health insurance companies. Please contact your insurance company to find out about their policy details. Please discuss this with your insurer in advance. You will receive an invoice from me with classification according to ICD-10. Should applications etc. be necessary, we can do this together during the meetings.

Therapy duration

The first therapy session lasts 90 minutes, subsequent sessions can also be 60 minutes long. The number of sessions required is as varied as the personalities and situations of the clients. For anxiety disorders, I usually see clients for 3 to 8 sessions. Frequently, this question can be estimated by the clients themselves after the second session. I will then also give you an estimation based on previous experience.

Appointment booking

Please read the important information before making an appointment with me, including the contraindications for psychotherapy with hypnotherapy. I have answered frequently asked questions for you. For the success of your therapy, this information is of crucial importance. If this attracts you, then you can find out about booking your appointment here. The better you are informed, the faster we can focus on you and your wishes.

To make an appointment, you can preferably contact me by e-mail (mail@noack-hypnose.de) or by using the contact form (privacy policy) as well as by phone 01577 704 53 56 or 030 - 864 213 69. You will then receive a confirmation of your reservation by e-mail. In this reply, you will find the details for the first session. This usually happens within 24 hours. If you do not receive a reply, it could be because an email has ended up in the spam filter. In such a case, please call me.

There are only a few practice hours available, and they want to be used well. The fee for individual session hours is therefore always to be paid in full by bank transfer, with payment received at least 7 days before the session.

Why at least 7 days in advance? I would like to do it differently, but this is the best practice. Appointments that have not been confirmed with payment received seven days in advance are noticeably more likely to be canceled. And the repeated callbacks take up a lot of time. Because of this, I'm currently faced with the decision of whether and how to either significantly adjust fees to absorb this or to consistently organize in a way that is fair to all parties. Because of this, I am also offering options in terms of shifting appointments with the fees.

There is a maximum of 20 hours a week available for psychotherapy, and any canceled appointment means patients are unable to benefit from psychotherapy help. I understand that it would be more convenient for you otherwise, but this solution is the fairest for all involved.

You can use real-time bank transfer (costs 25 Ct. at Sparkasse Berlin, for example) for time-sensitive appointments, and the transfer takes a few minutes, or we can make an appointment with appropriate advance preparation. If this is not an option for you, please let me know immediately so that I can assign your appointment. Otherwise, I appreciate your understanding and look forward to intensive cooperation.

Just ask me personally.

Let's talk. Please read the privacy policy. If you are interested, you can contact me for questions and appointments via this contact form or by e-mail (mail@berlin-hypnosis.com), phone 030/86421369, and mobile phone 01577/7045356. The best time to contact me by telephone is Monday to Thursday between 9.00 am and 6.00 pm. During sessions, there is an answering machine. Leave a message and your phone number in Germany, and I'll call you back as soon as possible. Make sure I understand what you are asking for.

You can find answers to frequently asked questions, such as fees, on the home page. There are also lots of articles and details about me (profile) to help you get an idea of who I am. This will also make it easier for you to decide if I am the right therapist for you and your problem.

Message

Remarks:

In the address bar of your browser, the URL should begin with "https://www.berlin-hypnosis.com/...". This indicates a secure connection (SSL). Whether you enter your real name is up to you.

You are not in Berlin or prefer an alternative instead of coming to me?

You are not in Berlin or do not want or cannot come to the practice for other reasons? Then it is worth reading the following information about the options:

a. Travel to Berlin

For clients traveling to Berlin, there is the possibility, if booked in advance, to hold 2 sessions on the same day. It should be discussed in advance by telephone whether this is a recommendable option, as it requires appropriate prerequisites. Any sources of additional pressure should be avoided in the interest of the therapeutic success.

Here you will find further information when considering to travel to me in Berlin.

b. Online sessions

At times a personal meeting is not possible. In such cases, a telephone session or a session with video support via the Internet is an alternative or supplement. I have been using this setting for many years, and many clients have achieved excellent results with it. These experiences make it easy to achieve very intensive sessions in this way as well. You are more flexible and can also use my support very promptly. There are currently reduced fees for such sessions.

You are also on the safe side regarding the coronavirus. By the way, this is also an option if you should be unexpectedly unable to attend a session personally.​

Self-hypnosis  

When appropriate, I will teach you self-hypnosis to complement the hypnosis sessions. Self-hypnosis is a tool to control unconscious processes and thus mental states by yourself.

After you enjoyed positive trance experiences with my support, you can learn self-hypnosis very quickly. This helps you to progress self-determined. It accelerates the process, deepens, and consolidates what has been achieved in the therapy sessions. Your autonomy is thus fostered. A good therapist makes himself superfluous as soon as possible. Self-hypnosis is an excellent method of self-help that can be used beyond the actual issue.

Be sure to read the following notice

Before contacting me, please read the detailed information about fees, booking, contraindications to hypnotherapy and answers to other frequently asked questions (FAQ).

These pages are intended to provide information for those interested in psychotherapy using hypnotherapy. It is not intended to replace psychotherapy or personal consultation, examination or diagnosis by a licensed medical practitioner. I am not a medical doctor. I specialize in helping people with anxiety and anxiety disorders. The profession of a hypnotherapist (official license to practice psychotherapy according to the HPG) is fundamentally different from that of a medical doctor. Medical diagnoses are not made, nor are promises of healing made or medication prescribed. Hypnotherapy is not a substitute for medical or psychiatric intervention where this is required.

If you have any questions about psychotherapy with hypnosis, please do not hesitate to contact me. I will be happy to inform you.

Articles

Published: March 1, 2008
Author: Karsten Noack
Revision: August 15, 2023
Translation: May 26, 2009
K:
H:
T: RR
AN: #3433